10 comments
  1. This is such a great question with so many answers. It is a very personal choice for your specific situation. In my case I told my boss before starting ivf. I actually told him when we were going through our medicated iuis because I was going to the doctor so often. In my case honesty was the best policy and my boss has been so accepting.

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  2. I too chose to share my journey with my boss and coworkers. When he hired me we were just "trying" and I wanted him to know that I intended to become pregnant. When we started seeing a RE, I told him that I may be requesting more time off. Now that we're close to IVF, he knows that I may need even more time off. It's been easier for me in the aspect of them knowing why I need so much time away from work. It's hard when my boss tried to give unwanted advice.

    And as for your coworkers, they should try and be supportive of you and your choices. Yes, you may have left your husband for a few weeks, but they should support you of being with him now. Try not to worry about what they will think or say. I knot, it's easier said than done, but if they care about you..they will support you in this journey. =)

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  3. I was very honest with my boss, though I kept the info from most of my co-workers (except for 2 very trustworthy women). He was very supportive and told me to take all the time I need. However, I am his assistant and you are a GM, so I can see where you are coming from. One idea is to take off a full week from work as a "vacation" between your retrieval and transfer. You're going to need almost that much time to recover anyway, so if you don't want people to know your business that might work for you. The only snags in that plan are that it's hard to estimate exactly WHEN you'll start your "vacation" because you will only have 2-3 days notice of when your retrieval will be. You'll also have RE visits about every other day for a week leading up to transfer. Hmmm. After all of this, maybe it is just easier to tell the truth. Maybe look at it if you were sick and needed some time of for surgery. Would your boss think any less of you then?

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  4. This is tough one and the answer depens on your circumstance at work.
    I telecommute so nipping out for daily scans was never a problem. My problem is that I travel for work - not a lot - but its always short notice and unexpected and I am at the mercy of customers in terms of dates. So that was VERY stressful for me since even if I did not have a trip planned when I was cycling, it did not mean one would not pop up suddently. So, both times I did IVF I was forced to tell my boss that I would be unavailable for travel for 2-3 week period, since I was having medical treatments. I did not elaborate, he did not ask. He did say initially, I hope everything is okay, and I said yes and left it at that. Then I took 1-2 days off during the actual retrieval. In fact in Oct, I actually missed a Sales Meeting across the country since he booked it during those two weeks I had said I could not travel. I do have 2 colleagues who do know and I told them since I needed one to cover for me if something came up.
    I agree that taking time off is best. This cycle, I told my new boss I would potentially be needing PTO during when I anticipated transer. The not having a proper schedule is the worst part of it.

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  5. I agree with what the other ladies have said: it depends on your work situation and how comfortable you feel in sharing that information with your boss.

    I haven't gone through IVF (though I suspect it's in my near future), but I didn't go through several medicated IUIs. I didn't feel comfortable telling my boss why I had so many medical appointments because I'm not comfortable with him in general. I simply told him that I was undergoing medical treatments and that I might not be able to give him much notice about when they're taking place. However, if I do end up needing to do IVF, I think I'll be speaking with my supervisor's supervisor about it (she's much easier to talk to), since it would require me taking more time off than an IUI.

    Good luck with your decision!

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  6. I had a very tough time with this question. Back in 2008 I told my boss and it was a bad experience. I told my boss this time (different boss) and am so glad I did. It's been a great help and she has been so understanding. One thing I will say is it helps with the emotional side of things if you tell. I didn't tell coworkers. Good luck with your choice!

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  7. Hi, Ali.

    I'm a first time visitor through ICLW. I'm sorry to hear you're going through so much besides having to contemplate telling your employer about IVF. It's your choice ultimately whether you share it with them or not. Although if that was a reason that your supervisor used to doubt your ability, I think they'd be a bit of an idiot. :)

    Best wishes in your decision,

    Casey

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  8. Hello, I found you via ICLW and have been following for a few weeks now. I totally get the dilemma with telling your work about what you're going through. I told my boss and coworker and they both have been pretty understanding, although my coworker thinks that she can now ask me everyday how things are going and can throw in her advice! I don't think it would undermine your capabilities to be honest with your supervisor. Best of luck and I look forward to continuing to follow your journey.

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  9. Tracey (The Fertility Daily blog)22 April, 2012

    Hi, I'm here through ICLW and The Fertility Daily blog. Great question. You may be getting to work late some mornings, so you may have to tell the Owner. Lots of considerations like if you have medical benefits thru your job that cover IVF and can't afford to lose it, or will the boss be supportive (does he/she have kids?) or start thinking of replacing you before you leave to have a family, etc. If you tell, pick the right time and have a heart to heart and tell the boss you're committed and will not be leaving because, not matter how much he/she likes you, that's their first worry. I wouldn't count on much support from the people at work who badmouthed your marriage, so I'd only tell those you trust.

    I have a funny story about this. After quite some time as a patient, I interviewed for a medical assistant position with my own IVF docs DURING my IVF stimulation and they hired me...knowing they were trying to get me pregnant! On transfer day, one of the docs came back and said "Well, I just got our new medical assistant pregnant." My first day of work was the day of my first pregnancy test and at the end of the day when the labs came back, my RE called me in and gave the good news!! This was back in 97.

    I'm sorry to hear of your MIL's diagnosis. The timing of it all makes me wonder if there's some big plan or just odd coincidence.

    I blog for my old IVF doctors to share my experiences. I hope that NIAW and ICLW will help me find new blogs to follow and to spread the word about their Free Micro-IVF contest that kicks off this week. Anyone interested can get the details this week on our blog or the Long Island IVF FB page.

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  10. I'm not up to the Ivf part yet, although I get the feeling it will be coming, I found it hard enough to tell the boss I need to take time off for tests etc.....the whole Ivf thing makes me think I will need to take leave from my job.

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