16 comments
  1. Love you, Ali! I'm still coping with the emotional toll from our first IVF (that ended with OHSS and me in the hospital for 5 days). Some days I get so emotional!
    Also, our first pregnancy's edd was last week, and our 2 year anniversary of TTC is this week. Why did it all have to get so jumbled together?
    I'm trying to cope as best as possible, and the husband and I are just trying to spend good quality time together. That and a LOT of praying. =)
    Love you so much, sweet girl, and I think of you often!

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    1. That's so much to deal with at once. I hope you're starting to get in a happier place. We will fight on!! Big hugs x

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  2. So far throughout our fertility journey I've had two chemical pregnancies but they were through our iui's and not ivf. I felt at the time that is was so cruel to be "almost" given a baby and then it was taken away. So close but then so far away. I have lots of hope for you and Chop throughout this journey. Also, going through FET it will be less stressful on your body and less medications and just think... once they make it through the defrost, they are fighters and will be with you for the long haul. Take some time from now until the next cycle and clear you mind.

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  3. Oh Ali, you are awesome! As is your blog. My very first and only IVF ended in miscarriage also, back in April. You describe it well when you say "your own private pain", because it feels like it is. It hurts. There are good days and not so good days, but I have been trying to focus on the wonderful things and people in my life. Gratitude is a big one. I have taken up running and am training for my first half marathon. Enjoy your little break and enjoy a few glasses of wine too. You are a stronger woman, not doubt and your Chop seems wonderful.
    Cheers & Hope always.

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  4. Miscarriage is a horrible pain that's very hard to share. They never fully diagnosed the causes of mine, but based on my creighton charts, and my recent success, I feel strongly that it was a progesterone/lutheral phase defect. It's vey frustrating because there isn't a ton of information out there about miscarriage. They can do a rpl panel, and I asked for a cycle progesterone test ( my doctor kinda thought it was a waste of time).

    Thinking of you.

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  5. I am stopping by from ICLW. I am so sorry to hear your news. After getting positive news it must be so totally devastating to experience the loss of it. I have no words of wisdom or comfort, but am sending you strength and hoping you get some answers that bring you closer to your baby in arms.

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  6. Hello, lovely! Another ICLW visitor.

    I had my first IVF in June and that ended in a chemical pregnancy.. so sorry to hear that happened to you - your attitude is AMAZING.

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  7. Ali -- I am I so sorry you are going through this, especially with the miscarriage starting. I can't believe how insensitive most are about miscarriages -- they are absolute hell and noone wants to hear about them because it is sad. Someone once said in a general conversation (he didn't know I had had one) that miscarriages are no big deal and I about lost it on him. Take good care of yourself over the next few days as your body goes through so many changes. Thinking of you often!

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  8. So sorry that you are going through this. You are in my thoughts...

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  9. we are on our1st IVF and it is such an emotionally draining process... heads up and hopes high, but whew...
    glad I stumbled on your blog..,

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  10. I just found your blog and I read your story and I am so sorry to hear about your lost. I sure hope you get some good news soon.

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  11. Hi Ali...I am so sorry that you are hurting but please know that you are not alone in this journey. I had this happen to me a few months ago. I hope this post helps...

    http://janetoffkilter.blogspot.ca/2012_01_01_archive.html

    ((HUGS))

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  12. I will never forget the pain of my chemical pregnancy last year. You're so right, it is the loneliest pain. No one else can know exactly what you're feeling, but I'm glad you have many blogging friends who have gone through the same experience and can help to bring you peace.

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  13. So sorry round 1 ended in a chemical. I think you're amazing, your positive attitude is inspirational :)
    ICLW #54

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  14. I'm so sorry for your loss. I just went through my first IVF, it was successful in getting me pregnant but loss the baby at 7 weeks 3 days. The pain is still very raw. I wish you a great relaxing months before your next transfer. Then positives all the way... good luck. Will be checking up on you :)

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