It's Sunday evening. I've had a nice couple of days with Chop, who I don't normally get to spend much time with on weekends (thanks to his job). But this weekend we've had lovely Spring weather, so we got out and enjoyed it before he has to go into hibernation for 10 days of nightshift.
I'm a few days off my first ultrasound of this FET cycle. I'll find out if the Doc wants to up my dosage of oestrogen pills to try and get me prepped for the embryo transfer on the 1st or 2nd Oct. I think I am managing my mental state a bit better, as my body has gotten a bit more used to taking these hormones. I'm still a shell of a woman compared to my non-medicated self, but I am forcing myself to try to act happier and hopefully that'll help me feel happier. It's better than being a misery-guts all the time. The other side effects I'm beginning to notice from these hormones is occasional nausea, and belly bloating. Whatevs. That's expected.
This weekend I've begun allowing myself some relaxation time, for about 30-60 minutes, where I just sit quietly and close my eyes, and drift into a kind of meditation. I am trying to clear my mind of all these negative thoughts, and am replacing them with positive thoughts about being prepared for this FET. It's been quite refreshing actually, so I am going to continue doing it each day. My cat has curled up in my lap each time I've tried this, and I think that helps relax me as well! My Hubby has been so supportive and patient with me during this process, even though I know he dislikes how quiet and withdrawn I've become. One. Day. At. A. Time. The chatty and silly Ali will return again one day soon. This shit is only temporary.
I'm a few days off my first ultrasound of this FET cycle. I'll find out if the Doc wants to up my dosage of oestrogen pills to try and get me prepped for the embryo transfer on the 1st or 2nd Oct. I think I am managing my mental state a bit better, as my body has gotten a bit more used to taking these hormones. I'm still a shell of a woman compared to my non-medicated self, but I am forcing myself to try to act happier and hopefully that'll help me feel happier. It's better than being a misery-guts all the time. The other side effects I'm beginning to notice from these hormones is occasional nausea, and belly bloating. Whatevs. That's expected.
This weekend I've begun allowing myself some relaxation time, for about 30-60 minutes, where I just sit quietly and close my eyes, and drift into a kind of meditation. I am trying to clear my mind of all these negative thoughts, and am replacing them with positive thoughts about being prepared for this FET. It's been quite refreshing actually, so I am going to continue doing it each day. My cat has curled up in my lap each time I've tried this, and I think that helps relax me as well! My Hubby has been so supportive and patient with me during this process, even though I know he dislikes how quiet and withdrawn I've become. One. Day. At. A. Time. The chatty and silly Ali will return again one day soon. This shit is only temporary.
Thinking of you. You've got the right frame of mind. Just take this one day at a time. :)
ReplyDeleteI love your meditation activity; that sounds enjoyable. I'm glad you had a nice weekend with Chop, too. Sometimes the "Fake it 'til you make it" approach does seem to work... sending lots of support. I think you're doing great - these hormone cocktails can be so hard.
ReplyDeleteYay for you and Chop getting to spend some extra time together. Glad you are working through the emotions of this cycle and moving forward each day. I am so excited for you guys and really, really hoping this works!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling a little better even though you aren't quite back to your normal self. I'm sure it will take some time. Hopefully, your lovely hubby and kitty will help speed up the healing process. :)
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