8 comments
  1. This is such a well Written and thoughtful post. Thank you for sharing.

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  2. Yes. To all of this. It still amazes me just how much infertility can color our relationships--sometimes for the better, sometimes not. And as much as the journey has its ups and (mostly, devastating) downs, I think, if we let it, it does make us stronger people in the end. At least, I hope so.

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  3. Thanks for sharing. I struggle with who I have become. She is not someone I like.

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  4. Yes, I hope that you find forgiveness from your friends and that you can forgive their absence too. Mostly, I hope that you don't become too hard on yourself for how you handle these things that aren't under your control. Always remember that you are doing the best you can. And that is a lot.

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  5. I can really relate to this post because my first husband and I did divorce after our failed IF treatments. Sure, there were other problems but I can't help but think IF was the final straw and if we had been "normal," who knows what would have happened. I have felt judged almost every day since my divorce (actually, every day since the decision was made that we would not reconcile). I love my new hubby with all my heart, but a divorce is not something that I would wish on anyone. It was more painful to me than my mother's death from breast cancer 7 years ago.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your experience here. I lost my Mum to Cancer 9 years ago, and that was hard... but all that we've been through this year has been way harder too. I hope to never get to that dark place in my marriage again. I'm glad that you've found happiness again with your new hubby :-)

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  6. Hi Ali,
    I don't know your story... I just came over here from Stirrup Queens, but I totally get what you said about putting life on hold while we wait. That's such a terrible place to be because it's no secret we only get one (that we know of!). Anyhow, don't forget to forgive yourself, too. All the guilt and fear can be encompassing... I found I felt so much better, regardless of what was going on, when I thought I could let parts of it all go, and forgive myself... You know, we can't control everything that happens to us, and we certainly can't control the behaviour of people around us, but maybe we can control just a little bit, the voices in our heads that are keeping us down. I hope you are feeling better soon.

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  7. Here from Stirrup Queens...forgiveness is probably the hardest thing for me to do. But the quote at the end of this post is fabulous.....I think I might just have to live by that from here on out...

    I wish you all the best on your quest to motherhood....

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