1. Girl, I am so sorry you are going through this. And that outburst that Chop had... well... let me just say that I have heard similar things come out of Mike's mouth when we have both been so overtired and completely worn out. I found that we both said so many horrible things to each other during that time because we were SO FUCKING TIRED and our filters were just completely gone.

    I wish I could tell you what to do to make it better. Well, I can give you my advice for what it's worth -- just do whatever you need to do right now to survive! Let the kid sleep in the swing for now if that works! You need to have some down time! He'll sleep in a crib later, I promise! Seriously! My kids slept in bouncy chairs and swings until at least 4 months old!

    But I can tell you with confidence that all of these horrible moments will eventually fade into distant memory. Anything horrible that Mike or I said to each other in their first 6 months of life is ancient history and chalked up to our extreme exhaustion! I hope that when you finally have some calm down time with Chop that you guys can talk about being a little kinder to each other. (OK, him being kinder to you is really what needs to happen, but just phrase it like it's both of your problems so he's more open to listening.) Sending you many HUGS from across the globe!

  2. Hi. I'm delurking here to say IT GETS BETTER! The first 4 months is so hard and it just seems like its going to go on forever. But it doesn't. I remember mothers group, watching everyone else seem so together. But believe me, everyone is going through a struggle of some sort. They are just not letting you see it. This stuff is hard. I remember thinking I should have some kind of "Mothers instinct" to "manage" this motherhood thing better but no, I seemed to have missed out on that. The truth is, it develops over time. But the crying, that is hard to deal with. And the fact that every day is the same, and doing it without support, is bloody hard. But you will get there. Eddie is beautiful btw. You are very lucky.