Happy New Year! Welcome to 2014. I'm still in shock at how fast last year went by. Is it going to be like this forever now that I have a child? The years just disappearing away? Last year I was pregnant for half the year, so there was a build up to having our baby... And then for the other half of the year I was negotiating my way through the myriad of learning experiences as a new mother. What's in store for this year? Who knows! I put up our yearly planner on New Years Day and filled in everyone's birthdays, as well as our 10 year wedding anniversary then looked at the year and realised that this is probably the first year EVER that I've had nothing planned. No holiday to look forward to, just a blank future waiting to happen.
I have mixed feelings on this, but I'm trying to be Ok with it. This was the year that Chop and I were supposed to return to Scotland to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary at the castle we were married in. We went there for our 5th anniversary, and promised each other that we would do it every 5 years. But that promise was made when we had no plans for a child. Now that Eddie is here, our whole future looks completely different to that carefree, adventure-driven life we had planned. Our close friend is also getting married in Poland around the same time we would have been in Europe for our anniversary, but we are also unable to go to her wedding. You might be able to tell that I'm pretty bummed about not being able to 'do it all', but the reality of the situation is that even if we could afford to go overseas, would we still want to do it with a baby? I'm not so sure. So anyway, who knows what this year will bring? I've been treating every day as a gift since having baby Eddie and I hope to continue doing this as the year rolls on.
It's also come as quite a shock that my special time with Eddie is coming to an end today, as my maternity leave is now over. I'm heading back to work tomorrow. I had many a good cry about this on Thursday when I realised that I'll be missing out on different things that Eddie will be mastering while I'm at work. I'll miss the snuggles during our feeds, and I'll miss the fun we have during play time. But I know that going back to work will do me wonders! My brain needs to start working properly again, instead of being only able to process things that relate to Eddie. I'm just starting back at work 3 days a week (Monday, Tuesday and Friday). I'm not worried about how Eddie will cope at all, as we've spent plenty of time with Evie (the other baby we are sharing care with), and he has been really good during the practice half-days we had with the nanny in December. The thing I'm most worried about is being a blubbering mess at work tomorrow! It feels like the end of something incredibly special, and there won't ever be a time like this in my life again where I can have an extended period of time off work and just focus on my son. I know I need to look at it differently, and not be sad. I will. But just not today.
My brother, his wife and her daughters have driven 12 hours from my hometown to spend the weekend in Melbourne. They wanted to come for Christmas and be here when my sister and her family were here, but things didn't work out that way. It's great that they're visiting now! They were here the day that we brought Eddie home from hospital when he was 3 days old, so it seems fitting that they're also here at the time when my maternity leave comes to an end. Eddie has grown so big since they last saw him!
Here's some photos from last night. Eddie absolutely loves my brothers beard! And you can clearly sees Eddie's 2 teeth. Speaking of teeth, I've had a couple of shocks with breast feeding him this week as he's clamped down on my nipple! Wowzers! I always used to say that I'd give up breast feeding at the first sign of teeth, but I'm not quite ready to do that yet. I've survived the chomp, so I think I can continue a little bit longer :-)
I have mixed feelings on this, but I'm trying to be Ok with it. This was the year that Chop and I were supposed to return to Scotland to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary at the castle we were married in. We went there for our 5th anniversary, and promised each other that we would do it every 5 years. But that promise was made when we had no plans for a child. Now that Eddie is here, our whole future looks completely different to that carefree, adventure-driven life we had planned. Our close friend is also getting married in Poland around the same time we would have been in Europe for our anniversary, but we are also unable to go to her wedding. You might be able to tell that I'm pretty bummed about not being able to 'do it all', but the reality of the situation is that even if we could afford to go overseas, would we still want to do it with a baby? I'm not so sure. So anyway, who knows what this year will bring? I've been treating every day as a gift since having baby Eddie and I hope to continue doing this as the year rolls on.
It's also come as quite a shock that my special time with Eddie is coming to an end today, as my maternity leave is now over. I'm heading back to work tomorrow. I had many a good cry about this on Thursday when I realised that I'll be missing out on different things that Eddie will be mastering while I'm at work. I'll miss the snuggles during our feeds, and I'll miss the fun we have during play time. But I know that going back to work will do me wonders! My brain needs to start working properly again, instead of being only able to process things that relate to Eddie. I'm just starting back at work 3 days a week (Monday, Tuesday and Friday). I'm not worried about how Eddie will cope at all, as we've spent plenty of time with Evie (the other baby we are sharing care with), and he has been really good during the practice half-days we had with the nanny in December. The thing I'm most worried about is being a blubbering mess at work tomorrow! It feels like the end of something incredibly special, and there won't ever be a time like this in my life again where I can have an extended period of time off work and just focus on my son. I know I need to look at it differently, and not be sad. I will. But just not today.
My brother, his wife and her daughters have driven 12 hours from my hometown to spend the weekend in Melbourne. They wanted to come for Christmas and be here when my sister and her family were here, but things didn't work out that way. It's great that they're visiting now! They were here the day that we brought Eddie home from hospital when he was 3 days old, so it seems fitting that they're also here at the time when my maternity leave comes to an end. Eddie has grown so big since they last saw him!
Here's some photos from last night. Eddie absolutely loves my brothers beard! And you can clearly sees Eddie's 2 teeth. Speaking of teeth, I've had a couple of shocks with breast feeding him this week as he's clamped down on my nipple! Wowzers! I always used to say that I'd give up breast feeding at the first sign of teeth, but I'm not quite ready to do that yet. I've survived the chomp, so I think I can continue a little bit longer :-)
Oh gosh, I sit here and look at all these cute pictures and see how you are going to have a hard time leaving. So happy that you are starting off with three days a week and going from there. I hope you have a good first day back :)
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